


Diagnosis

by Fancy Lads Snacks (Filthy_Bunny)



Series: Paper Moon, Lead Balloon [2]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: F/M, Maxson has no clue, Pining, Unrequited Love, what is this foolish emotion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 13:19:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6007689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Filthy_Bunny/pseuds/Fancy%20Lads%20Snacks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur is feeling out of sorts and calls for Knight Captain Cade. Spin off from Paper Moon, Lead Balloon from Maxson's POV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Diagnosis

**Author's Note:**

> A Valentine's gift to my readers! Thank you all so much for reading my story and for all the amazing feedback. Hope you enjoy this silly bit of fluff while the main story is in more angsty territory. 
> 
> This is set around the same time as chapter 12 of [Paper Moon, Lead Balloon](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5756842/chapters/13265302), while Joanna and Danse are in the Glowing Sea.

The curfew bell had chimed through the speakers along every deck, and the Prydwen was readying for sleep when a light knock fell on Maxson’s door.

Arthur was at his desk, reading through the latest reports from Cambridge on his terminal. “Come,” he called. He swivelled in his chair to face the man that entered. “Thanks for coming by so late, Jim.”

“Not at all.” Cade closed the door behind him and strolled into the room.  He took a seat at the table and set down his medical bag. “What can I do for you, sir?”

Arthur frowned and rubbed his eyes. “I’m having trouble sleeping.”

“I see. Falling asleep or staying asleep?”

“Both, I think. Mainly falling asleep. And then I wake feeling unrested.”

“Any other symptoms?”

“Yes. I’ve noticed discomfort in my chest,” he said, rubbing a hand absently over his pectorals. “And just general tension. Some headaches.”

“All right. Let’s have a listen to your chest first of all then, shall we?”

Cade stood and rummaged through his bag while Arthur pulled off his undershirt. His holotags rattled against his chest.

The press of the stethoscope was cold on his skin. He followed Cade’s instructions to inhale, hold, exhale slowly. Cade moved from his chest to his back, directing Arthur’s breathing and murmuring the occasional _mm-hm_ to himself. 

“Well, your heart and lungs sound perfectly fine,” Cade said at last, and returned to his seat. “Can you describe the discomfort?”

“It feels like a tightness around here,” Arthur replied, gesturing to the area around his heart. “Or like a weight pressing on me.”

“Have you noticed any changes to your mood or behaviour?”

“Yes, actually. I’m distracted. On edge. And I’ve been drinking a little more than usual, if I’m completely honest.”

Cade nodded. “How long have you been experiencing this?”

Arthur considered. “Two weeks, give or take.” 

“Well, it sounds to me like psychological stress, sir. This kind of thing crops up frequently among the crew. The Brotherhood’s work is dangerous and demanding. And you have a huge amount of pressure on you as leader. When did you last have a day off?”

Maxson leaned back in his chair and shook his head. “I don’t have time for a day off.”

“That’s exactly when stress hits us. When we don’t have time for it. As your physician, I recommend that you work more down time into your schedule.”

Arthur sighed. He didn’t want down time. Staying busy was the best way to keep his thoughts occupied. “But it doesn’t make any sense,” he said. “I’ve been Elder of the Brotherhood for four years. I am under no greater stress now than I ever was before. I don’t see why this is happening now.”

He knew all about pressure. He thrived on it. The demands of the Brotherhood, the Capital Wasteland and now the Commonwealth, too, were the fire that kept him burning. This was his purpose in life. But lately he had been doubting himself. Struggling with his temper. At times he feared losing the self-control he had so meticulously constructed over the years.

Cade tilted his head to one side, thinking. “There could be any number of reasons,” he said. “Perhaps it’s due to being in unfamiliar territory. The Institute is a formidable enemy, and still largely unknown. But only you can say for sure what’s at the root of it. Have you noticed any particular thoughts or events that seem to trigger these episodes?”

Arthur scowled at the floor. Unfortunately, he had. “There is one thing,” he said, then cleared his throat. “One, ah, relationship that has been somewhat... troublesome. But I’m sure that’s just a symptom, not a cause.”

He saw Cade nod out of the corner of his eye. “And is this relationship, by any chance, more than just a professional one?”

Maxson looked up at Cade sharply. “What makes you say that?”

“Only that our personal relationships are usually the ones that affect us the most deeply.”

Arthur cursed inwardly. He thought of denying it and blaming his turmoil on something else. But if he wanted to change the way he felt, Cade was probably the best man to help him.

“This has to remain strictly confidential,” he said at last.

“Of course, sir.”

“I mean it. No notes, no terminal entries; nothing leaves this room. I can’t allow for gossip to spread around the ship. You know I have to set the finest example to my brothers and sisters.”

“Absolutely. You have my word.”

Arthur stood and walked around the room for a minute to calm himself. He went to the door and opened it to check the corridor outside, then closed it again. He felt like a fool. He went to the table and sat down opposite Cade, though he focused his attention on a stain on the tabletop.

“There is someone I was considering as a partner in marriage,” he said in a low voice. Cade listened in silence. “As you know, I have to think about my future, and the future of the Brotherhood. The last dispatch from the Western Elders reminded me that part of my duty is to consider such things. So I made a proposal to... this person.” _Just about, hmm, two weeks ago_ , a voice in his head offered helpfully. “She—That is, I reconsidered,” he went on. Knight Mayes’ words rang in his memory: _Are you out of your mind?_ The ache in Arthur’s chest worsened at the thought of her voice. “It wouldn’t be a good match,” he insisted.

He knew it logically. As brilliant as she was, Mayes could be insubordinate. Her loyalties were torn between the Minutemen and Brotherhood. And she was... Damn it, she was still in love with her dead husband and Arthur had no business even entertaining thoughts of having her.

“I see,” Cade said. “But still, do you find yourself thinking about this person often? Worrying about their welfare, perhaps?”

Maxson thought of Mayes, and his face grew warm. Cade was an intelligent man. It was possible he had already deduced who the object of the Elder’s affections was. Everyone aboard the Prydwen knew that Mayes and Danse were out in the Glowing Sea facing unimaginable dangers. At the thought of her out there, his stomach tightened with dread.

His voice had dried up, so he tipped his head in a minimal nod.

“And is there also a physical attraction?”

Arthur felt his skin prickle. Mayes was not, objectively speaking, the most beautiful woman he had seen. And yet he had never felt such a strong desire for someone. It manifested late at night in the images that filled his head when he was alone in his bunk. It manifested when she was near him and all he could think about was touching her. It took the whole force of his will to keep his hands to himself, and even then he had failed more than once. What was _wrong_ with him?

His fist tightened where it rested on the tabletop. He nodded again stiffly.

“I can see it’s troubling you,” Cade said. “But there’s no shame in having those feelings, sir.”

“I’m not ashamed. It’s just useless, that’s all. It serves no purpose to remain preoccupied with something that has no future.”  

“Unfortunately, reason doesn’t serve us too well in matters of the heart.”

Arthur frowned and rubbed his beard. “Are you quite sure there’s nothing else it could be? I feel unwell. I feel... _bad_.”

His romantic experience was very limited, but he wasn’t a virgin, and he knew that these things were supposed to feel _good_. The only couple he had really been close to while he was growing up was Sarah and Dee. Their partnership had been balanced, committed and loving; his template for an ideal marriage. While he hadn’t been around to see their early days, they had always seemed so content. Perhaps he could ask Dee if there had ever been a time when she and Sarah had bickered and tormented themselves the way he was now.

“I can’t see a thing wrong with you physically,” Cade said. “All your symptoms could be easily explained by your emotional state.”

“Do you have any advice?”

“Not when it comes to relationships, I’m afraid. But I am always available to listen, if you should want me to. Your wellbeing is my job. And that includes matters of the head and heart as well as the body. I know how seriously you take the mental health of your crew. You should show yourself the same consideration. Give yourself some time off, even if it’s just the odd day here and there. And try not to lean too hard on alcohol to take your mind off things. It’s no good for your mood, and hell for your liver.”  

Arthur nodded. He felt very weary all of a sudden. “Thank you, Jim. I won’t take up any more of your time.”

Cade bid him goodnight, then got up and went to the door. As he was reaching for the handle, Maxson called out and halted him.

“Yes, sir?”

Arthur didn’t look directly at him. “It will go away, won’t it?”

Cade gave him an apologetic smile before delivering his parting words. Words that struck fear into the steely heart of Elder Arthur Maxson.

“It might, with time. But I’m afraid if there’s one thing I’ll never have a cure for, sir, it’s love.”


End file.
